A Pumpkins Saga

A Pumpkins Saga is a Tale of Pumpkin. His journey through Life, his frustrations, joys and gives the reader a first hand acccount into his unusual way of looking at the world around him. And overall attitude towards the thing that he doesn't give a dammn for

Friday, November 10, 2006

The Confessions of a Perplexed Mind


I do not like to be confused. I do not like the feeling of not knowing. I don't like that at all. Sometimes you have all the data that you need - but you somehow lack the abilty to process it.

Sometimes I feel that I do not want to know, I do not want to figure out things the way I usually want to. Is it that I really choose not to figure things out or is it that my emotions cloud my reasoning?

Emotions and feelings for someone are bad - they do not allow you to think clearly. It is my considered opinion - that it is always advisable to think with your mind rather than your heart (a dear friend of mine would probably remark that you do not think from your heart - of late I do not tend to disagree with her that much )

I meet people, different kinds of people; people with diverse backgrounds, diverse opinions, diverse tempraments and diverse tastes - and yet there are only very few amongst them that I find fascinating and enigmatic. People like these make life more interesting. But it is not always good to know an individual too well too fast, or at leat let that person know that you know. For it gets people away from each other. For people shy away from them, who they know share their deepest secrets.

I have a dear friend here at K-State who I find deeply interesting; but yet I have choosen not to know more about her - at least not more than she intends to reveal. Because if I know more about her,I fear that she'll lose her enigma and become an ordinary person in my eyes or maybe it's just because I treasure her friendship a lot more than I treasure her past.

No matter what I say, I have for once chosen not to know. For once I have found the darkness of ignorance more appealing than the comfort of knowledge. I see my curiosity and my eagerness to know more working against my own interests.

Maybe this is what she said was complicated about life when she talked to me over dinner last night. But I shall opt to disagree with her for the hundredth time. If life seems very complicated to me then I must not be looking at it in the right way. There has to be an essential simplicity that has to underline life, and it is obvious to me now that I have yet to achieve that understanding.

1 Comments:

Blogger AG said...

worth reading!!
i can empathize this situation.

7:22 PM  

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